Crucify My Love
by Fey2Kim
Summary: Kamiya Kaoru: multi-millionaire, legendary actress, mother of two, grandmother of four and a devoted wife to Yukishiro Enishi. So where does Kenshin come in? AU/OOC/K+K/K+E/Don't hurt me.
1. Prologue

*sits down and sighs* Well, back to ficcing, I guess. The title is a song from X-Japan; it's one of my favorite songs. Well, to begin with the lyrics to the song. It'll give you a bit of an idea about what the fic will be about. In fact, almost all the songs from thier Ballad Collection are all influences and whatnot. 

CRUCIFY MY LOVE  
A wannabe Prologue

Crucify my love   
If my love is blind  
Crucify my love  
If it sets me free  
Never know Never trust  
"That love should never see a color"  
Crucify my love  
If it should be that way 

Swing the heartache  
Feel it inside ouy  
When the wind cries  
I'll say good-bye  
Tried to learn Tried to find  
To reach out for eternity  
Where's the answer  
Is this forever 

Like a river flowing to the sea  
You'll be miles away, and I will know  
I know I can deal with the pain  
No reason to cry 

Crucify my love   
If my love is blind  
Crucify my love  
If it sets me free  
Never know Never trust  
"That love should never see a color"  
Crucify my love  
If it should be that way 

Til the lonliness shadows the sky  
I'll be sailing down and I will know  
I know I can clear the clouds away  
Oh Is it a crime to love 

Swing the heartache  
Feel it inside out  
When the wind cries  
I'll say good-bye  
Tried to learn Tried to find  
To reach out for eternity  
Where's the answer  
Is this forever 

If my love is blind  
Crucify my love  
If it sets me free  
Never know Never trust  
"That love should never see a color"  
Crucify my love  
If it should be that way 

* * *

The first chapter is coming real soon, just wait. I'm halfway finished with it. 


	2. Chapter 1

*rubs eyeballs* Just some backstory. This fic is loosely based on my own original creation, Kissing Butterflies. Hell, it _is_ the same story only with changed names. xD... Lack of inspiration, I'm sorry. 

CRUCIFY MY LOVE  
Chapter 1

As an actress, I'm literally swamped with work from head to toe. You'd think that I would get it easy, you know, being a multi-millionaire and all. Miss Kamiya Kaoru, legendary actress, mother of two beautiful children, grandmother of four and a devoted wife to none other than my agent: Yukishiro Enishi. We've lived a blissful 42 years together, Enishi and I. We married shortly after my big break. I was 26 at the time. We've been in love all this time, even when through the toughest days when reporters finally dug up the dirt on me. I love him with all my heart for supporting me and remaining loyal. 

The older I get, the more everyone seems to be sucking up to me. Vultures; all they want is to be written into the will. Distant relations, friends from elementary school and even the mailman. God, please take me away. I'm getting old. I've lived for 68 years; that's longer than I ever expected. 

My grandchildren are staying with me at the mansion for the next two weeks, all four of them. I've sent my two children, Yahiko and Tomoe, along with their spouses to an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii and Italy respectively. They needed a break. They are raising teenagers, and we all know how stressful that is. 

Sanosuke is the first one to greet me in the mornings, _always_. He's still a kid at heart, no matter how much he denies it. He's the youngest of them; 12. Then is Megumi who is 14, and then the twins, both 16, Kenji and Kenshin. Kenshin. 

I still can't believe that my daughter decided to name one of the twins Kenshin. She said it was a tribute to the Kenshin of my past. I nearly wept, both in joy and in pain. She told me that the story that I had I told her years ago really struck her. She said that this man was very likely to be a god damned saint. He was more than that, honey. Much more. 

Sano runs into my room and gently shakes me awake. "Kaoru granny, tell me a story," he says. So I tell him about one of my movies, "Damsels". He seems to like it a lot. I'm glad. One of my maids enters my bedroom. She bows and tells me that Mrs. Rama is here for my interview. The last interview of my life, I call it. Sano leads me downstairs along with the maid. The other children hear the noise and run down to meet Mrs. Rama and me. 

"They're lovely children." 

"Thank you." 

"Grandchildren?" 

"Yes. They are staying with me for the next two weeks." 

"You must be a saint to your children." 

"Ha ha ha, well, I do try." 

"What are their names?" 

"This one is Sanosuke and that one is Megumi. They are Yahiko's. And there re Tomoe's, the twins Kenji and Kenshin." 

"Kenshin?" 

"Yes." 

"Mrs. Kamiya-" 

"Please, just Kaoru." 

"Okay then. Kaoru, will you please tell us, TeleNews, your story about him again?" 

"Oh no, I just couldn't. It's just too long and I don't wish to bore you." 

"No, no, please!" 

"Please, Kaoru granny? Come on, we're old enough to hear it!" 

"Yeah!" 

I laugh. "Seems like I'm out-voted. Okay, gather around kids. Sano, stop chewing on that fishbone. Where'd you get that from anyway? Megumi, stop tormenting Kenshin and Sano. Kenji, Kenji... Come sit on my lap. Do you have the camera rolling? Okay. This was more than 48 years ago..." 


	3. Chapter 2

I've tried very hard to research all I could about the 1950s, and so I'm using some 50's slang, so bear with me. You can find crap about the fifties here. 

CRUCIFY MY LOVE  
Chapter 2

This was more than 48 years ago. I remember the night exactly. November 26, 1955. It was raining like hell that day. I had just inherited a large sum of money from my late father and I was spending it like a kid at the candy shop. I had lived in Southern Virginia all my life, living off of pop and 1000% meat hamburgers, and today this little Daddy's girl was going to the city, the big apple, New York. 

I stepped out of the taxi with only my purse and my clothing. My goal? To get the shoes straight from Coolsville. Oh, I must have been so tacky looking, dressed in my dungarees and my yellow puff-sleeved blouse. Well, I was going to fix that real quick! I'd look like crazy! I was going to buy all the designer evening gowns that caught my eye. Man, was I really lacking jets. 

They had just put in the "Don't Walk" signs on the streets. Wow, I was just overwhelmed! I wandered the streets all day, even in the pouring rain. I was tough and a few hours of cold winds and rain wouldn't bother me one bit. Or so I thought. I came down with a horrible cough. Seemed like it was a common thing lately; the hospitals were in an uproar. They said smoking would make it no good. Please... I smoked a pack of Slims whenever I felt like it. I was a big girl! 

Everday, I'd mail letters back home to my older brothers: Hiko, Tsunan, Saito and Shinya. (A/N: from dir en grey. ^^;;... It just seems to fit, the personality of Shinya and the character.) I'd tell them about the lifestyles of the cityfolk and the kinds of events that happened all the time. New York is the city of excitement, I'd tell them all the time. My brothers never responded back, which was okay with me, with the exception of Shinya. As time rolled on, the letters became more directed towards Shinya rather than the other three. We talked about all the things in the world, hinting suspicions and gossiping about the latest celebrity couples. My favorite letter from Shinya was his semi-letter, semi-playwrite. Shinya asked me to hand the playwrite to a Broadway director if I ever met one. I never did until he died. 

Shinya was the youngest of the brothers and the quietest. I swear, I could mistake him as one of my girlfriends and immediately braid his hair; he looked so baby-like. He was also very strong and righteous. A real gentleman, I'd alway say. I got a letter from Tsunan one day telling me that Shinya was on his deathbed with a bad sickness. That confused me. Even though Shinya was quiet, he'd always talk to me. But he never told me anything about his sickness. 

I dropped _everything_ in shock. Why in the world would the good lord take my innocent brother? I entered the nearest church and prayed my lungs out; a thing I hadn't done since who knew when! Oftentimes I'd look at myself in the mirror in shame. My hair was bobbed close to my head in wavy pincurls, the style at the time. I painted my lips with Snow Ball of Fire lipstick and sipped wine like I owned it all. I had my dresses, I had my shoes, I had my chlorophyll toothpaste and deoderant, I had it all. That just made me more saddened. For hours I'd sit in the dark of my home, a large two-storied apartment. I nearly became a raving madwoman who was addicted to Burbon. 

Life was slowly evaporating from me. I stopped writing letters to my brothers and I never left home. To me, Shinya's death proved something I didn't want to know. Although I still spent my evenings at parties mingling with the rich and the famous, it was never as fun. 

The events occuring before my father's demise haunted me like a bad hangover. Shinya's death confirmed all the things I had heard being whispered under the record player playing Elvis' sweet voice. 

"Deciet." 

"Lies." 

"Deals." 

"Gangs." 

"Knives." 

"Tommyguns." 

"Murder." 

I was scared half to death. What if? What if? What if? It was like a bad drama movie! 

Christmas time rolled around pretty soon. I would remember Christmas with my mom, before she croaked, of course. I'd wake up bright and early just to help her bake cookies in the shape of a little baby Jesus. I always laughed at the thought to biting the feet off of a cookie Jesus, though I feared that I'd be killed in an instant by a thunderbolt like they'd do in the cartoons. 

I was partially weakened by the sickness I had caught in November. I'd have to sit down and catch my breath sometimes. 

Come New Years, and I was invited down to Virginia for a bit of a family reunion, devised by Saitou. Oh boy! I get to see Shinya! I thought, so I hopped on the next train back home. My brothers welcomed me openly. 

"How are you?" 

"Wonderful! Where's Shinya?" 

"Oh, he passed away last month." 

"What! No one told me! You... you... you nosebleed!" 

I was beyond infuriated. With the rage that I had inherited from my father, I screamed and cried and brought up the dead. They left me alone afterwards and that was when I'd cry my little eyes out. Tsunan came to confort me with peach tea and offerings of hairspray and eyeliner. He even took me out for some KFC. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"We were afraid of hurting you." 

What a bold-faced lie. 

After a while, my other brothers started to talk to me, but Saitou and Hiko would always get into fights. Tsunan tried distracting me with a game of poker, but I could still hear the words. 

"Why did you make me do it? 

"I made you do nothing!" 

"Brothers, please! Excuse yourselves, we have our younger sister present." 

Once they would excuse themselves into empty rooms, it was din from Hell. They called each other bastards and threw things across the rooms. Oh, Daddy's rage must have been passed down to Hiko and Saitou too. I asked Tsunan why they'd fight so violently. He merely brushed it aside and said that they were just divided on how to care for the farm. Saitou had made a big mistake in convincing Hiko to sell part of the land. 

"You know how they are. They've been at each other's throats since childbirth, you know that." 

"I know, Tsunan. They broke the head off of my doll because of it." 

The fights became more and more heated. I heard all the obscenities in the world in just a matter of days. Oh, my lady-like ears were never so violated in my life. Tsunan would, when he thought I wasn't looking, glare at the two and mouth the words: 

"She doesn't know. Don't blow it." 

The fights would simmer down into a stern stream of voices. 

"I can't believe you." 

"Look, you did what you did _knowlingly_." 

I was bored at the Virginia mansion. I'd spend most of the time in the attic looking out the windows. No one could find me and no one seemed to care I was missing. I'd see many things from my window. Tsunan was courting a lovely girl and they would take walks around the garden, shyly stealing glances at each other. It was sweet enough to rot your teeth and bones inside out! 

I had to get out. You just don't understand how much I needed to get out. I wanted parties again. I wanted to see lights! City lights! AHH! I went crazy sometimes, babbling about needing my dresses. I think they were more than happy to let me loose. _I_ was more than happy to leave. I ran back home the instant I found a train that went back to NY. 


End file.
